Wednesday, December 31, 2014

365 days...

Dear Chelsea,
What if this year you didn't back down because something was difficult. What if you gave everything your all. What if you harnessed your passion and dove in head first and didn't give a second thought to what anyone said.
What if?
What if you decided to become vegan for you and you alone forgetting the sideline of people demanding where you get your PROTEIN from? As if their concerns should matter. Remembering that most people are quick to judge every single thing that is "healthy" but do not bat an eye at diet soda, donuts or fast food.
What would happen to your body and your mind if you continued your journey for one whole year?
Yoga every single day of 2015, and pursued eating vegan, because of the way it makes you feel and for no other reason.
What if you once and for all tossed your scale in the trash, and practiced saying flattering and complementary sayings to yourself in the mirror?
What if you used essential oils and meditated and drank green juice without any care of what people might think of you....what if?

What if you continued to practice self love in front of your two little girls. What if you showed them more, better ways to eat, better ways to treat yourself, what if you really tried?

What if you planted a garden in the spring and picked your own veggies and herbs? What if?
What if you really participated in this life you want. What if you created it? What if you could inspire other people to experience the benefits of balance?
I wonder what 2015 would look like...I wonder what would happen...this time next year?

I guess we are about to find out.

Love, 2014 Chelsea.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Being Happy and crap

On December 1st I set out to accomplish 30 days of yoga.
I am not even sure I knew what that meant at the time. I think a little part of me figured that if I could focus on the mental part of yoga, that I would lose the crazy anxiety of the Christmas season. So often by this time I am rabid with anti Christmas spirit.
 Almost desperate to be rid of everything that jingles or sparkles.

Something has changed this year, as we approach 2015, I am still chalk full of holiday cheer.
I am almost sad to disassemble the Christmas tree, hell, I am still watching Christmas specials and humming "Carol of the Bells".

This 30 days of yoga made me a freaking happy person.

A centered person, dare I say it, a more balanced person.

Some of you know that  a good friend of mine and I started a business called "Nine North Blue"- we make detox bath soaks and sprays using essential oils. Using different blends of oils we have created some pretty spectacular products.
Check us out HERE
Here is me talking about some of our products:

Speaking of the oils, I have had some pretty dramatic results using an assortment of them in my everyday life.
I am not just saying that. I mean it.
If you are like me, you are like...yeah oils, cool. NEXT.
But you wont understand how medicinal these suckers are, until you experience the best sleep of your life, have soft, smooth, acne free skin, wipe out a cold, depression, anxiety, or watch a very deep gash heal in half the won't be sold...that's why you should trust me and try it.

I am putting this out here that if you DO have questions about these oils, email Christina and I  at
I will try to answer any and all questions and if I can't find the answer I will find someone who can.

OK on to the yoga pics. Here is a compilation of 30 days of yoga poses with my minis and some with just me.

Will I continue on?

This month has opened my eyes to the holistic side of healing.
I have tied my mind, body and spirit together and have seen some pretty miraculous changes.
Instead of throwing medication at every problem I have found a new way of handling situations.
Also in March, I am going back to school for holistic nutrition, which is a huge decision that I have made, based entirely on my  wanting to help other people feel as awesome as I do. To be passionate about something is incredible isn't it? There was a time when I held passion for being at the gym for hours on end, for hurting my body and punishing myself for eating.
Now I move with ease and comfort and serenity. 2015 I am unapologetic for this lifestyle. This is me. Upside down or twisted or sitting in complete gratitude. No more weighing myself, no more eating if I am not hungry, no more forcing or hurting- just being happy in my body and doing everything I can to be the best me I can be.

2015 is going to be EPIC.
What are your goals?


One of my goals is to be TOP 50 on Mommy Bloggers, so if you wouldn't mind clicking the link below.....It would make my entire day! Thank you so much!!

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Friday, December 26, 2014

A Detached Christmas..

I used to despise Christmas eve.
I mean, it was certainly a love hate relationship.

The mixture of boredom and anxiety was nauseating.

Christmas was my first experience pulling an "all nighter" -I never could sleep. I tossed and turned and stared at my clock. I remember being perfectly still, sure I could hear bells in the sky.
I would press my nose into the window and try to catch a glimpse of anything happening.
Mostly I saw black and the scattering of snow.
I always tip toed to the living room to see if Santa came, mostly annoyed that I could never catch him, but at the same time grateful.

By the time 8 am rolled around, yes my parents only allowed us to come out of our rooms at 8 am...I know, strict, right? I was a zombie, high off excitement, but ready to crash at a moment's notice.

Christmas never held up to my very high expectations. No matter how hard I tried, the Christmas let down was brutal.

 I made a promise to myself that this December I was going to "let go." Detach from the outcome of any given situation.

The morning was spectacular. Filled with squeals and sheer happiness. I sat with my coffee and took in the flying pieces of wrapping paper and the scattered Amazon boxes, not caring about the mess, only living in the moment.

Usually by this time I would want to be rid of the tree and wipe the house clean of the holiday evidence, but I am content with it. The lights on the tree make me smile, hearing my kids giggle in the next room makes me grateful that they are healthy and that they know how much they are loved.

All is good around here.

Even though it was yesterday.....Merry Christmas internet friends and readers. Thank you for being along for the ride.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The rules that do not apply to mothers

I used to lifeguard at a hotel resort. There was an inside pool and also a pond outside. Behind it sat a restaurant that was always hopping with summer activity.

One late afternoon there was all sorts of commotion behind me. Two scruffy men in bloody aprons sprinted towards me, one holding his hand cupped together the other holding what appeared to be a finger.

He had cut his finger off. They came to me why? They assumed I was an EMT or something along those lines.
Something clicked in that exact moment and I effortlessly handled the situation, gloves on, finger on ice, 911 alerted. Controlled the bleeding, cracked jokes even.

Yesterday I caught a glimpse of Allessandra's skull. She smashed her head on the edge of a counter and I was paralyzed.
Do you know what that is? The feeling of paralysis?
I was feeling and hearing her blood pulsating into the palm of my hand, and I thought for the briefest of seconds that maybe I had gone deaf.

I saw people talking to me, I saw her screaming, but I couldn't make out the noise.

 It was like my brain was trying to shield me, while trying to fire the right commands.
I remember the paramedics standing over us asking who was "mom" and how it took me forever to respond.
It's me, she's mine, I made her, I made her skull and her bones and blood and eyelashes, I'm mom.
I don't remember a lot from the back room, but I remember looking up at people and wondering when they got there.
Josh's phone was off.
Called Mary. "Just come here."-and it seemed like a snap of a finger she appeared.
She had it handled.

Everyone had it handled.

In the ambulance Allie was having a panic attack and the paramedic told me twice to sit back down and put my seat belt on, until he realized his rules didn't apply to me, or any mother when their child is distressed.
I half laid with her and we talked about candy and unicorns and I made all sorts of promises to God.

It took me three hours and forty five minutes to breathe normally again.

Allessandra told me how she saw all sorts of stars, and she told me how quiet it was, but then she saw my face and wanted me.
I told her I was certain she had a few angels with her that day because her coat flipped up under head and cushioned it so she didn't hit the back of her head. She agreed with me, wholeheartedly.
To everyone yesterday, every single one of you. Thank you.
There will never be words to express to you how much it means to me.
And Tina..we especially love you, you are one badass in a crisis.

3 internal stitches 4 outside...only concern was that no one saw her in her pressure dressing.

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Monday, December 22, 2014

Count the stars with me

When I was sixteen my friend was killed in a car accident. It was so random, there were four people in the car, three were fine and one was dead.
I remember feeling an unimaginable amount of grief. I found refuge laying close to my dad while he rubbed my back and let me cry.

I was confused and trapped, I was incapable of sorting my emotions.

 That night my dad took me for a walk on the golf course after dinner.

He played with me like a kid.
He ran through the sprinklers and rolled down the hills with me. I remember thinking, this, right here, it doesn't get any better than this.

Eight years later as we played a dance of "saying goodbye" I held his hand and asked him if he remembered that night, when we played under the stars.
He tightened his grip and met my gaze with intensity, "Yeah. I do." and he flashed me the biggest grin I have ever seen.

 Twenty years I had with my dad and out of all of it, it was that night that changed me.

So when I take my girls dancing in the moonlight in our front yard, you won't think I am strange,

Because in twenty years I hope they remember me this way and the nights we walked around the neighborhood looking at lights and counting the stars.

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Friday, December 19, 2014

Lesson in falling

If you follow me on facebook you know that everyday for the past 19 days I have put up a picture of me doing yoga. Sometimes with the girls, sometimes alone. What you don't see is the time and crashes that are the behind the scenes, and sometimes, recently the pulling of my hip flexor so fiercely that I spent the entire day yesterday laying down on ice.

I honestly do not approach a pose with anything other than an open heart. Nail it or not, I am detached from the outcome.
Except for this

See, most people thought she was holding me up, but in reality I would kick into the handstand, slowly lower my legs and hold it, she would come up and lightly grasp my ankles, and SNAP the camera would flash and just like that- a moment captured in time.

Except you didn't see the countless times I fell, hard, most of the time forward. Allessandra looks a tad frantic in the photo because she knows what a foot to the face feels like.

It has taken me 18 days to hold a handstand for longer than a second.
As much as I tried not to be, I was attached to that. I will hold this, I will hold this.

 The day after this, I woke up with the most excruciating pain in my hip, Forget yoga, I could hardly walk.
This morning marks day 19 of my continuous yoga practice.

I celebrated by watching the sunrise, standing in tadasana (mountain pose) which is literally just standing upright with feet grounded into the earth.
I am humbled and learning everyday to stop forcing things to happen in my time.
While things do come with practice - they also come from rest and gratitude.

So that's where you will find me today.
Resting in gratitude.

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Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Best damn granola

Eat as is, or top with vanilla milk or yogurt. YUM!

4 cups oats
1/2 cup tart cherries or cranberries dried
1/2 cup mix dark chocolate chips, cashews, almonds, hemp seeds, (get creative here)
1/2 coconut oil
1/2 cup organic maple syrup
Preheat oven to 350
Mix everything together spread evenly on parchment paper. Bake for 25 minutes.

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Monday, December 15, 2014

Why I cancelled Christmas

This morning in between the hiccuping sobs echoing from the back seat, I vowed to not let the previous fifteen minutes destroy my day.

My Kids are jerks- Especially this time of year. Between the Grandparents loading them up with sugar,  the chocolate advent calendars, and every excuse to eat candy and crap at school, they are literally cracked out out of their little minds. My kids specifically, this morning were like walking, talking junior high mean girls.To each other, and to me, their attitudes and fits were particularly epic.
Sophia decided to park her behind in the middle of the driveway and protest the wearing of a coat.
I reigned in my rage and put her in the coat, snapping the buttons with emphasis while she did her best impression of a wild orangutan.
I channeled my best Michelle Duggar and tried to remain calm.

Then she threw her boots at my face.

Then I cancelled Christmas.

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Friday, December 12, 2014

Saying goodbye..

It's embarrassing to admit that I write better when I am depressed.

Albeit the posts are painful and depressing and elicit phone calls and worried messages, I have written some of my favorite pieces in a raw state.

So many people wonder if writing helps me, or brings me back to a place of misery where I sit and drown. They cautiously advise me to cease the gloomy writing and focus my attention on something else.
Although I tried, I would sit and write and be content with whatever happened to appear on the screen. Parts of me took offense to the comments because what was coming out of me was what was going on inside.
I laid my guts on the table. And it was purely cathartic.

As I sit here, today, I can honestly say, I don't feel that way anymore. I laugh and smile and feel dewy and bouncy.
Medication is a wonderful thing.

It's a strange feeling, the inability to call upon those intimate dark emotions.
I have spent months wallowing in my own darkness, writing and thinking, rinse and repeat. When I write, especially about something I am passionate about, it is my mission to make you feel it too.
The roller coaster I was riding had to eventually come to an end. By taking medication, I am willingly giving up the freaky side of me that is dark and damaged, I am slowing the creative tap that pours thoughts and visuals into my head, in exchange for freedom.

 What a lovely feeling it is to let go.
I think this time, for real, I have completely surrendered.

Sometimes I go the entire week without a single tear, or the pinching pain in the deep of my stomach.

Sadness has left the house, and has moved to the end of the driveway, looking over her shoulder, expecting me to call her back, "I need you to function, I need you to write, I need you to remind me that I lived and they didn't" - but the moment she is gone, I don't think of her again.

 Shutting the door to the bleakness, all I see is light and freedom.

It's difficult to admit that I am not sure who I am without the pain.

But I am looking forward to figuring that out.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

"This Vodka tastes like water!"-and other poor choices...

Let me start by saying the college I went to was a dry campus meaning: if you got caught drinking your ass was expelled. One of my good friends got kicked out and lived in her car for a week. She past the time by watching Moulin Rouge on her laptop.
I chose to drink off campus. Half entire bottle of vodka to be exact. I think this was my first taste of it and I remember loudly declaring “Oh my GOD this tastes like WATER!”
I mean, you can totally see where this is going.
 I decided to go swimming in a pond, put my clothes on inside out and backwards and ripped the crotch of my pants.
Obviously in the state that I was in, going back to campus was the only option. Or at least that’s what Vodka brain told me.
There is very little that I remember, but I do remember falling out of the car. Not gracefully, by any means, but very much like your friendly alcoholic homeless person.
Luckily for me a bible study or some sort of Christen leadership “outing” was arriving at the dorm at the exact same moment that my sorry ass was trying to get to my room.
Blending into the crowd, I scanned in and made my way to the elevator with forty million people, all staring at me.
Shoeless, dripping wet, backwards inside out tank top and rocking my crotch rip.
Then I think I decided to throw up a gang sign and slur an explanation, “I went swimming.”
Because, well duh.
Two women on my floor, walked me to my room and lovingly shoved me through the door. My roommate popped her head up and stared at my disheveled appearance in utter sympathy.
The worst part about Vodka is the one, two, punch that hits you like a sledge hammer to the face, HOURS after you have even taken your first sip. By the time I had pulled on my over sized hospital pants, I was what the french call...d o n e.
Giving the circumstance, I grabbed my trash can and began throwing up my insides. In between episodes, I pushed my head farther into the trash can, coating my hair with my own vomit.
While all this sexiness was happening, a loud KNOCK rattled the door. “POLICE OPEN UP.”

To say I was scared shit-less is an understatement. I pulled myself together in the only way that a drunk vomit encrusted co ed could.
My roommate sat up in her bed and watched me open the door.

This is something really important that I need to mention here. While out drinking my weight in vodka I was drinking with one of my girl friends who also was dropped off at her dorm.
She must have stumbled or given some sort of indication that she was pissed drunk because she started RUNNING away from campus police.  And by running, I mean she sprinted ten feet, fell down a flight of brick steps and caught herself with her face.
Like her whole face.
Since she looked like a bloody Chunk from Goonies, she was taken BY AMBULANCE to the ER.
All this was going on, while I was trying to get to my dorm room and lay in my own vomit.
The two police officers shook my hand, and I was all, “Heeeeeyyyy.” I think I was swaying, my roommate says I was, but I like to think I was dancing.
They asked if I had been with my friend that night, and if we had been drinking.  I tucked a strand of crusty hair behind my ear and gave my best winning smile. “We had maybe two beers, why?”
“Your friend is in the hospital and she is pretty beaten up.”
I squinted my eyes and tried to clear the fog. “She’s in the hooooosssspital?”
They nodded.
“She’s in the hooossspppital?”
They nodded again.
I think we did this a few times.
Then they began asking if her boyfriend ever beat the shit out of her.
I wish I could tell you that I pulled myself together, but truthfully I don’t remember. I remember covering my mouth a lot because I was certain they could smell the rancid odor of vodka and acid.
I assured them in my best assuring voice that “NO!” her boyfriend never beat her up. At least I didn’t think so?
They seemed super happy with my behavior and did not cuff me. In fact they wished me “Goodnight.”
Listen, the fact that I did not get arrested that night is a God damn miracle. 
I made a complete ASS out of myself that night.  Fifteen minutes after the Police left my room, I realized that the thong I was wearing was up out of my pants in a super awesome V shape, with my pants hanging low and stained with wets spots of throw up.
After making this realization I crawled back to my trash can and past out.
I did try to make it to my 830 class. I actually made it to my seat, looked at it, and promptly returned to my bed. Besides nothing says, “I spent the night drinking vodka and puking” like having your roommate recount EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that you left out.
I met up with my friend later on that day and she told me everything that happened, the best way that she could while only using one side of her mouth.

The moral of the story is, I ended my relationship with vodka that night. I met Josh two or three weeks after that and never EVER showed off my splits, at least not while wearing capris.

*As a disclaimer Please, if you were apart of this story or remember things I don't, this is not an appropriate time to refresh my memory- or name names that I have taken out. Thank you*
Mic drop.

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Sunday, December 7, 2014

Weekend Wrap up

Hey guys!
So first of all happy Sunday!  I have been ridiculously productive today. Shopping/Christmas cards/ made a freaking homemade wreath...planned out all my Christmas gifts for the outside people in my life..oh and adopted a kitten.

Internet, meet Gumball:

She is a rescue kitten, and possibly the sweetest little thing ever. Our male cat "Candy Cane" was not a huge fan at first, but seems to be a least mildly kosher with the situation.

If you are wondering, the name came with her. No one wanted to suggest a new name.

So while shopping at Home Depot I found a wreath that I wanted to purchase.

Home Depot wreath 
Then I was all, 40$ is a lot for a wreath. After asking my sister in law about the burlap wreath she made, I decided to make my own damn wreath.
So I made this:

Ridiculously easy and all this for 15$. W/o a coupon that I should have had with me.

Do you guys want a tutorial? It's so easy, once I show you, you are going to feel just as magical as I did.

Message me if you want one and I will make a video...maybe even with Allie.

If ya'll are super lucky!


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Thursday, December 4, 2014

Staying healthy: What works for me


Eggs. Preferably organic because they for REAL taste different. Better.

Supplements - So I don't get sick.
Citrus Zinc 



Apple cider vinegar 

Cod liver oil 

Nuts. (Walnuts, almonds, cashews,)

Fruit. Any kind.
Veggies- Sometimes I juice them.

If I decided to eat beef I eat it organic. It really does taste different.
Sometimes I eat tofu or throw it in my smoothies.

I am not sticking to any RULES. No counting calories/no points/ no stressing or obsessing.
I eat three meals a day at the same times roughly. I drink a lot of green tea. 

I try to eat what my body craves...keeping in mind that it's not my body that craves candy or pop tarts (that's my mind and its a crazy ass liar) if I feel like eggs I eat eggs, if I feel like tofu and berries that's what I eat. Sometimes I eat vegan sometimes I don't.....
I practice yoga everyday, sometimes twice, sometimes three times. I do what feels good.
Sometimes I run, sometimes I lift.
Its a very comfortable state.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

A Practice of unbalancing: see also: don't grab a person while they are meditating. Seriously.

*As a disclaimer to this post, I have heard that you shouldn't really mess around with hypnosis, especially if you have never done it before, nor am I trying to convince you of anything in this post. Just recalling a story*

Sometimes when I am feeling like my life is totally in order, and I am balanced, I like to play with it just a little bit. Like balancing on your head and seeing if you could just for a second cross your legs around one another.

Oh and PS. its always a good idea when doing hypnosis to tell the people in your home not to mess with you.

So I found something on YouTube that was an hour long meditation, that focused on past life regression.

I, obviously find this fascinating and thought, you know why the hell not? I have tons of random ass dreams that sometimes I can't make sense of. (Like watching a tornado come down a field towards me, being sucked up into a tornado..watching the Titanic sink, watching a plane crash into the ocean while being in a boat looking at it....) Just to name a few. So basically, wildly destructive tragedies..some nights on repeat.

So anyways, I settled in on the bed with my headphones on and really let my mind go.
 I tried ridiculously hard not to second guess myself, but just tried to enjoy the process.

As the meditation went further and further I could feel myself being extremely relaxed, like being asleep but also awake.
Like watching yourself sleep. But not in a creepy way.

Almost at the end of the hour (I think) the voice guides you through your memories to "before"- which you have no concept of..."consciously" but if you believe in this (and obviously I do) the soul remembers everything.
As my mind guided me into my old body, I had this idea that I was female, but then just instinctively  that felt wrong. OK so I am male, mid twenties and I did something in an arena where people cheered and clapped, loudly. I felt dust in my lungs and the energy of the crowd buzz through my body. The voice guided me to the place that I called "home" and looking at it- it felt like home. A cottage with flowers in the windows, I had a wife and two children, they were both blond. A tiny old woman was there and I felt that we were extremely close.
The voice had me ask this previous life to show me something, anything they wanted. Suddenly- almost without warning I am standing barefoot watching the cottage burn to the ground, knowing that my family was inside.
I swear I could hear the crack of the flames and feel the heat on my face.

Meanwhile- Josh, seeing me relaxed on the bed, decided to grab my shoulders  in an effort to scare me.
 Apparently I started screaming at the top of my lungs, and crying hysterically.

(Both of which I do not recall) He told me I screamed for way longer than necessary and Allessandra came running to my side. He told me I told him to leave me alone...but, like I said, I don't remember any of that. I remember seeing the house burning and then climbing up a mountain side.

Then waking up like:

After coming back to reality, I wrote for a while about what I saw, and what I felt, realizing that all along I was crying, but had detached so completely from myself as a "whole" that I didn't realize it.

Like that scene in Grey's when Miranda is trying to save that Doctor that was shot and cant figure out where the "water is coming from" and its her own tears? that.

So what do I take away from this? Not sure, I could have a pretty destructive imagination? I could just have a really vivid imagination. But there is one thing that I can't deny. When I was little I was irrationally terrified of fire. Would not hold sparkles, shuffled away from candles, if the fire alarm would sound I would have a legit panic attack...and sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and crawl to my door handle to see if it was hot.

That shit actually happened, I did all that without really knowing why.
So....if my mind showed me something significant, it makes sense.

As the meditation closed the voice had me ask the previous life what I need to take with me, back into my conscious mind- and my thought was so simple: Just be happy.
That's it. So simplistic so complex.
 Just be happy.


I am looking to do more work with an actual trained professional, and/or making sure when I meditate that deeply my husband is not around.

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