Saturday, May 31, 2014


J and I went to Myrtle Beach for our honeymoon. Looking back, now living in Georgia I wish we would have gone somewhere else. But I think we had a good time, although Disney would have probably been more epic.
Anyways, I digress.
I turned 24 on my honeymoon and had called two weeks before to set up a "Birthday massage" at a spa near our hotel.

The morning of my birthday we had flash floods, it rained so hard we could not see a damn thing. We somehow managed to get to the address and I was immediately greeted by the front desk lady...she guided me into the tiny room and instructed me to get under the covers....
Throughout the entire hour massage she told me about her problems. When the massage was over she began covering me with mud and wrapping me in saran wrap.
I didn't have enough sense to ask her what the F she was doing..but instead laid on the table like an encased sausage..assuming that this was just a part of the massage.

Turns out...A. She had me mixed up with someone else
B. She thought I was a friend of her close friend.
C. The actual place that I had booked my massage was next door, and they were "displeased" that I did not show for my appointment.

This is the type of crap I remember at 1 am on my drive home from Atlanta.