Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Thank you....

For all the love today...<3 br="">

To Allie: On your Fourth Birthday.

Dear Allesssadra, Allie,
(You informed me that Allessandra was NOT your name, and you would like to be called Allie, and since I happen to agree with you, I will follow this request.)
Today you are four years old.
Holy Cow! How did that happen? I blinked and all of a sudden you went from this screaming tiny infant in a car seat that would shriek every time the car would pause at a red light, to this girl who kisses me goodnight and whispers in my ear, boy's have penises.

I have tried to write this letter to you so many times, but each time I stop and back track the cursor, judging every word that I type. Because this birthday is so big in my mind. I remember being four! But sweet Ms. Allie, you are everything and nothing like me all wrapped up in one.
You talk non stop, and ask so many questions I feel your head might spin off with knowledge someday.
You are incredibly confident and careful to always follow the rules.

I see so much of me in you when it comes to pleasing others, you NEED to get it right the first time, or else the whole world might come crashing down around you. Man oh man, I get this, but I hate it for you- you seem to carry so much on those tiny four year old shoulders.

You refuse to spell your long name, to the point where you burst into tears in front of your teacher.
"It's too hard!" You say, the same look you give me when I asked you to take a bite of honey.
My heart breaks for you, because there is so much tough stuff in this world. Soon it wont be spelling your name, or eating your vegetables, but the girls picking on you, or your first boyfriend kissing another girl in front of you.
And, Allie, I die a little inside thinking of these scenarios. But you are truly a warrior spirit, I know, because you can do anything. I will always be behind you 100% backing you up and cheering you on, especially through the tough stuff...because it's that stuff that makes us stronger.

I started this blog four years ago, waiting for you to be born. I didn't know what it meant to be a mom, or to love another person as much as I love you. You changed my life Allie. On your fourth birthday my wish for you is that you always keep that vibrant imagination of yours, that you use it and transform it into something that keeps you smiling each day.
And that you will continue to reach for your sister's hand and walk with her, no matter what.

I love you boo.