Thursday, June 30, 2011


Met with my trainer twice this week- was slightly annoyed at the side glances that people gave me, but I suppose I can't blame them, I feel odd looking at pregnant women. The men though just blatantly stare at me, like, How come she is just obese right there?

My trainer told me she was going to punch me in the vagina if I didn't stop calling myself fat. I told her to take a number.

I am having maternity photos done on Saturday, I am both excited and terrified.
I am not one to show case my cellulite- and am really hoping that I don't look back on these pictures and say, WTF was I thinking?! 
I only have one belly pic of Allie and I regret not taking more.
So these pictures will mainly be of Allie and my protruding stomach.
Then once Sophia is here we will have pics of the girls done.
I am kinda giddy with excitement thinking about Allie meeting her sister.

...Anyways, Happy Fourth! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Home sweet Home

This is me having contractions on the side street of a Parade in Massachusetts.
Don't I look like I am sitting on a potty?
At least my kid is patriotic.
Look, its a freaking firetruck.
She was super fine to stay there.

I have lots to say about the wedding, but truthfully I am spent. I have gone off the deep end of my training routine, have eaten like crap, gone to bed late and got up early all week, and am currently suffering the consequences. 
We left Allessandra's great grandparent's house at 5pm yesterday, Allie was asleep before we pulled out of the driveway and proceeded to sleep until 5am this morning. Poor thing, was riddled with exhaustion.
But we are home. 
Couldn't be happier. 
Although I do miss this.

And this.
aaand this.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Plane train and car

I think it's because I was awake at 2am, or maybe because I am seven months pregnant, OR I was trying to handle Allie's attention span and keep her tantrums under control- no matter what though, yesterday I was on the verge of a massive mental breakdown.
I want to know how fat people fly.

I could hardly enjoy my ounce of ginger ale since the table in front of me would have to rest on my stomach, given the fact that its a baby in there is not too bad, but I am SURE that has happend to a fat person- how embarrassing.

Also the landing was so graceful I am pretty sure the baby's foot got lodged in the back of my throat.

Besides me being utterly destroyed with exhaustion, seeing my mother and brother was spectacular. I know, thats such an asshat word, but it truly was. My daughter, God love her, was in a good mood even though she was running on empty.

We ate some delicious seafood, and Allie got to see the Ocean, albeit it was 74 degrees out (frosty cold) and overcast (hello shivers) but she had fun throwing rocks.

Last night trying to get her to sleep was much how it used to be when she was a newborn. We were all so overtired, trying to relax enough to fall asleep was almost impossible. I ended up getting sick to my stomach, J ended up sleeping on the tiniest couch you have ever seen-and Allie fought off fits of exhaustion by trying to kick me in the face and screaming "NO. Mommy Daddy. NO."
Allie and I both managed to take up the entirety of a California King size bed- Also, I was uncomfortable at this point in my pregnancy sleeping in my own bed, now imagine me trying to sleep in a squishy marshmallow next to a violent sleeper.

Needless to say, it was a long night.

Now on to phase two of the trip.

Wedding time.

Monday, June 20, 2011

week 28

Watson Mill

I fit in for two reasons: 1. I have tattoos and 2. I have a pot belly

So, when in doubt hide behind the child.
This picture makes me ridiculously happy.
This one does too.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Third Trimester, bring. it. on.

This weekend has been a blur. In fact the past week + weekend has gone by in a blink.

As I am hitting my third trimester I am absolutely utterly exhausted-and knowing that I still have exactly 12 weeks left, well its a little daunting to say the least.

I know the last three months suck, I am prepared for it, I guess I was just not prepared to be so depleted . I am emotionally-physically-mentally (can you think of anything else?) drained.

I spent Thursday in a fit of contractions, Friday sobbing, Saturday sleeping, and Sunday at a friggen waterfall feeling like a beached whale.
I am so excited to go to Boston and see my family and friends, but I am going to be honest- the actual thought of traveling makes me want to weep.

Also- my kid is going through a phase of being a complete douche.
I love her dearly but I definitely removed every battery from every noise making toy that she owns.

And I may or may not have threatened to run them over with my car.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Tuesday night

I almost face planted into my spaghetti last night.

I literally fell asleep sitting up___at the table___while eating.

Do you have any concept of how ridiculous that is? Allessandra even leaned far over into my face and whispered at a level that only a two year old would think was quiet, "MOMMY WAKE UP!"

Am I am 90 year old woman?

No, just a woman in her third trimester who thinks that on top of working out for an hour I should go spend two hours running errands in the 96 degree heat.

No wonder I flipped out on J -sobbed real tears over Allessandra's "bob" haircut that brought back horrible memories of "looking like a boy" and then proceeded to fall asleep in a pile of pasta sauce and noodles.

You should take me out in public, to like parties, I am a real treat to be around.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

First workout

I had my first workout with my trainer last night.

Lets just say, sometimes I wish I was not such a show off. I quickly learned that when you can execute an exercise "perfectly" more weight is added, just so you shut your stupid girl mouth and learn that you are not a body builder and never will be.
Because I have this "thing" where I have to do everything, ahem, excuse me for saying this word again, perfectly, I ended up banging out 60, yes SIXTY leg squats with a ginormous blue ball behind my back.

I am tired.

Not really sore, yet, but I know tomorrow I will be.

There was this interesting thing that kept happening last night, I would breathe, press the weight, and then simultaneously get kicked in the vagina.
It was like just for the special occasion of an evening workout, the child decided to participate.

It is a little hard to concentrate when your stomach is moving in all directions, apparently the tiny child is a fan of loud music, and over sized grunting men.

My trainer found it to be fannnntasitc and would be so enthralled with my convulsing stomach that the bitch would lose count and then claim I had "four more" when I had clearly already done 100 reps.
(or 12)

But this is the South so you can't use words like "bitch" or "this sucks" or even, "DIE WHORE DIE."
I guess I will just have to see how it goes, I AM planning on continuing through August....

Monday, June 13, 2011


Allessandra has started "being afraid".

Its a new thing that she is doing, and I am not exactly sure the right way to handle it- a part of me wants to snuggle up with her and protect her from the "evil" spider ghost that she claims is in her bed, or forfeit my school work in order to protect her from the witch that she swears she saw on Dora the Explorer, but a lot of my gut is saying, DONT TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF USELESS SHIT.

That was, until yesterday.

It turns out, Allie is paralyzed with fear when it comes to heights.

My in law's house has a porch that is on the second floor, we usually eat dinner out there on Sunday, and besides being terrified that I might get a splinter, the porch is not that scary.

Unless you are two, and realize that if you look super close-you can see through the slits of the wood- to the ground.

She would start walking, stop, whine, and then look as if she just took a giant dump in her pants. Then proceed to walk without stepping on a crack, it took her 25 minutes to walk back inside the house.

I am not exactly sure how to proceed with this fear- I can't really comment since I am also not a fan of heights, something about plummeting to my death makes me a little uneasy - but I don't want her to think that she is not safe, especially when I am there or her Dad, or anyone really.

Any of your kids have fears? Irrational or rational?

 For me, when I was growing up I was absolutely petrified of snakes- and so is my mom. I do NOT like dogs, heights, or being in tight spaces, like will not crawl under a bed, or hide in a closet.

And J, well he's afraid of moths.
Don't judge him internet. He's a person too.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sunday catch up

Every time I lay down I see something that I need to clean.

I am having some sort of manic nesting instinct going on.

The fridge needs to be cleaned, the food needs to be organized, cabinets, drawers, the floor needs to be washed and polished-lets not forget the fact that I still have not packed for our trip to MA.
And by that, I mean I have not packed at all.

I still need to find time to get my hair done, Allessandra's hair cut, my shoes bought, my lesson plans done, my school work finished for the week- case in point, I just don't have time to lay down right now tiny Sophia.

Sophia Kathleen is the name we picked.
It totally seems like Sophia is the most popular girl name of 2011, I swear I didn't intend on choosing such a common name, the truth is, J picked it, and he is so friggen obnoxious about names that I just gave in immediately.

He could have chosen to name her Assface and I would have been relieved that he even liked a name.
Like with Allessandra I got to throw in the middle name after my family, Kathleen is after my mother who passed away when I was two.
Doing that is not only in memory of her, but I feel, is honoring my brother as well.

Tomorrow is my first work out with my trainer.

 I am wondering if I should tell her that my legs are sore from walking up a flight of stairs.

Saturday, June 11, 2011


I did something a little out of the ordinary today.

I hired a trainer.

A pregnancy trainer.

She's super skinny and peppy, and walking beside her makes me feel a little like an oompa loompa.

She has in fact had a child and gained in her whole pregnancy what I have gained thus far, which again facilities my insecurities.

But she's super sweet and didn't measure my body fat or weight, but instead told me to stay off the scale and focus on my nutrition and work outs.
I can't promise I will stay off the scale, but I will only weigh myself once a week-just to keep an eye on whats going on.
(I have control issues)
ANYWAYS- she gave great advice for snacks, and meals, and apparently I should be eating every two to three hours, and I need to incorporate much more protein into my diet.
The pathetic thing about all of this, is I KNOW it, but I hardly ever do it.
Which is why I hired her.
The money I spent and the time I am putting in will most certainly keep me accountable.

I feel like I need to explain my reasonings behind doing this, as I am sure people are wondering why I am so concerned with weight, ect ect, I know you are suppose to gain weight with pregnancy, I am not stupid, I have and will continue to do just that, my point is, I don't want to give up these last three months like I did with Allie-and end up with 15+ pounds to lose.

She has me working out 3x a week. Twice with her doing weights and cardio and the other day doing pre natal yoga.
....That right there is totally doable. She also has me keeping a food log, which I might incorporate into this blog (another way to stay accountable)
I am actually looking forward to this, just from this morning session and the small changes I have made with eating I already feel a difference in my cold, energy and general mood.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Five things Friday

1. I have a cold/allergy/pregnancy nasal congestion/bloody noses
2. This added with my hormones makes me want to set things on fire
3. I am pretty sure that this is facilitated by the AC that is constantly on- which makes me wonder which is worse, feeling sick, or dying of heat.
4. I am leaving for Boston on the 22nd and as much as I despise flying and or traveling I am sure doing it pregnant with a two year old is going to make for a much better blog post.
5. I am obsessed with this song

Every time I play it near my stomach, the baby goes crazy with the kicking.

That is all.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Almost 26 weeks

Still a girl.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Saturday in Paradise

As a teacher, I always feel awful when a child goes home with a scratch, bite, bloody lip, or bruise. It makes me feel as if I didn't do my job properly- didn't fully attend to their every whim in order to return them home in the condition they arrived in.
However, as a mom, I see that these damn kids are walking, talking accidents waiting to happen.

Today Allessandra jumped..knee first out of the car.

Are you blinking in utter perplexity as to why she would decide to do such a thing?

Me to.

Especially since apparently, I was meant to catch her.

Except she forgot that I don't "catch" flying toddlers.

So she landed directly on her knees.

Then as I am icing her wounds, she announces, "Daddy push Allie out car."
I about fell over in hysterical laughter, which of course only made her more assertive in her accusation, and proceeded to tell EVERYONE that we came into contact with, that her Dad pushed her out of the car.

And as we were hovering over some delicious Southern BBQ later on that night, she purposely smashed her face into the table, while trying to get us to laugh, unfortunately for her, she split her bottom lip.

"Allessandra, what are you doing you goof! How did you NOW get a bloody lip?"

....."Uhhhh, Daddy do it."

Meanwhile J is choking on his iced tea.

"Don't say things like that Allie, you are totally lying."

"Roooooooar, I not a lion, mommy!"

Needless to say, its been an eventful Saturday.

Friday, June 3, 2011


Kinda miss running

I just generally miss being light, and less like a beast clomping down the hallway.

Yoga used to be fun, now its annoying. I wish I could say that I was this yogi mother to be, all fresh smelling and calm, but that is just not the case.

Certainly not the "fresh smelling part." Because lets be blunt here, 101 calls for some serious swamp ass to be going on, especially when you are carrying around an extra 20 pounds. Yes, 20.
Which, when you think about it is just fine, especially given the fact that I weighed way more at this point with Allie.
Plus I have three and a half months till this sucker is being torn from my belly (which happens to fall directly on my 28th birthday.) 

So in case you are slow, this child and I will share a birthday. How friggen adorable is that?

I stepped on the scale this morning, and it only groaned slightly. Me on the other hand, bit my lip and sucked back tears, staring up at the ceiling while whispering, "Its Ok, its OK" 

I like knowing where I am, because it gives me the motivation to push through these last couple of months, making sure I am really concentrating on not adding extra weight to my eye lids.

So, I found myself at the grocery store yet again this afternoon, tossing in Organic pumpkin seed cereal, and greek yogurt, fresh veggies and whole grain crap, if I got 3 and half months left, then I plan on making the best of it.