Friday, February 25, 2011


She slept.
All night.
7 to 7
The only issue is I am not sure she slept all night due to all the preparation, or she slept because she hasn't slept in weeks.
Does it matter?
Probably not, seeing as though its Friday, and she seems to always sleep like a champ during the weekends.
My guess goes back to the dinner thing. Friday nights is Pizza night, and she almost always stuffs her face, therefor filling her tummy therefor making her sleep longer.

Do I sound like a broken record?
Sorry, its probably because I accidentally drank reheated (leftover OLD) coffee from yesterday, thinking that my husband had made me a fresh pot.
Totally should have known better.
Also, due to yesterday's lack of sleep, I seem to have contracted yet ANOTHER cold. Which is like being slapped in the face...over and over and over again.
I don't remember a lot of last night, due to the exhaustion, I do remember going to book club, I do remember drinking an acia pomegranate smoothie and wishing I had like fifty more. I remember stumbling through the door and mumbling something incoherent to J and falling face first into bed.
That's it.
I think I slept with my contacts in.
Also, slept in my clothes.
Also, it was 8pm.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Where I talk about sleep some more

I am re reading this little gem. Except I had to skip to page 89, the section for the 2 year olds. You know, the section where you cant lock them in their crib, but instead have to LOCK them in THEIR ROOM.
WTF parenting is hard.
I think the biggest culprit of this little phase is that fact that not only has my daughter given up sleeping, but she has also given up eating dinner.
Like, a bite of yogurt will do.
Cause I see 2am pretty clear in my mind, and it shows a pretty dissatisfied angry stomach.
Also, a dissatisfied angry mom.
So let me just get this out of the way.
My kid, is the kid that eats dirt.
Like, fist fulls of dirt, stuffs it into her mouth and SWALLOWS IT.
I causally brought this up to her Doctor the other day, and seeing as though she did have low iron to begin with, he gave it a little check a roo.
She has low iron.
We started supplementing with Pedisure.
So for dinner, just to be clear, she had: 2 cups of Annie's Mac and cheese with squash mixed in, 1/2 a cube of cheese and 1/2 a sippy cup of Pedisure chocolate nasty goop.
Which is a vast improvement to last night's dinner of nothing.

The child will sleep tonight.
 Also, I have to say, the book advises me to continue to nurse her to sleep. And I was all, what? Hire a Nurse? I dont understand. BECAUSE SURLY THEY DONT MEAN BOOB FEED MY TWO YEAR OLD?
....and um, if you are still nursing your kid at 2 I am impressed, truly, I gave up at four months, and could not IMAGINE having that type of relationship with my kid while also trying to maintain a healthy marriage.
Just saying.


I am half awake.

As my daughter approches her second birthday, she has decided to give up sleeping all together.
Did you just read that sentence and feel totally 100% horrible for me?
You should.
Send coffee.
Except coffee now turns me into an awkward convulsing mess.
Like, I can't stop talking, or shaking, LOOK AT MY HANDS! HAHAH AM I TALKING TOO LOUD?
 Because of Yesterday's episode, I created a concoction of half caffeine half decaf- this morning, which only made me slightly shake like an asshole.
I have seriously been off all caffeine for almost three months, so starting back up again, is like snorting crack through a pixie stick, not that I even know what thats like, or even what that is, except I watch INTERVENTION, so I am well versed in all things "addictive".

Back to my sleepless daughter.
My mother warned me to never bring my child into my bed. No, it was never a "warning" per say, it was more like, I know you, you will bring your kids in your bed and be all hippie mom and have a family bed and thats not healthy Chelsea, think of how inappropriate that is for the child.
However, last night it came down to a cross road, Sleep Vs. Mother's accusations.
Since I tripped over my pj pants and basically landed on my face, on my way to scream at my child to SHUT THE *insert explicit* UP I dragged her into my bed, and promised myself that I would never tell.
Except, well, I am.
My mom is restraining from calling me as I write this.
She slept with us, from 4am until 7am.
In the smack dab MIDDLE of the bed, kicking my left boob the entire time.

To say I am exhausted would be an understatement.
Did any of YOUR almost two year olds give up sleep?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

There is an i in Happiness

I know I have been slacking lately.
Truthfully I have been feeling all out of sorts, busy and irritable, I always feel as if I have a small child hanging off a part of my body. Either at school or at home, I am constantly picking something up, putting something away, wiping up peanut butter - or sweeping crumbs off something. 
Or my personal favorite, the relentless skipping record of, "What's that? What's that? What's that?"
Somehow, in the midst of all of this, I feel myself losing.
I am tired.
I am bitchy.
I feel like I am failing as a mom.
Do we all feel like that once in a while?
Every time I raise my voice, snap, yell, or shout to the sky for a little bit of HELP, I feel like I am failing.
On one particular night when I couldn't keep my eyes open for one more second, and I swear to you I was contemplating sleeping face first on the dining room table, I asked God for help, for strength, for the ability to be better.
The answer I got, the one deep in the pit of my gut, is, Its not a contest. 
Really, God?
That's all you got?
But, yeah.
It's not....a contest.
When I refrain from nagging and keep myself from duck taping Allie's coat to her body, no one appears and hands me a trophy.

I had to go back and figure out the things that make me happy.
Writing, above all things does this for me, and the more chores I do instead of -the less happy I become.

For someone who has experienced some serious bouts of depression, I can usually start to tell when I begin to take a back seat to my life- not that this is whats going on, its just I don't like it when I begin to lose pieces of myself.
I am going to get back into my resolutions, but especially writing more.
As a very awesome snoopy poster says: There is an I in Happiness.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Wiggle room

I ran in quickly to CVS today.
And that happend.
That, being the month of the cadbury eggs. The most glorious month of the year.
Since it was close to 70 degrees outside, I thought it best that I shove the entire chocolate egg into my mouth, for fear that it might melt all over my passager side seat.
I bought two eggs. 1 for me, and 1 for, um, me.
they are four WW points, which is totally 100% justified in my opinion.
So even though I am eating really well, I am finding a little wiggle room to fit in an egg or two.
Those damn cadbury eggs are A m a z i n g.

Monday, February 21, 2011


Out of the 20 pictures I took Valentine's Day morning this picture right here is the very best I could do. Pathetic right? I had reached over and whipped her thumb out of her mouth right before snapping this gem.
And just for the record, she's not like staring into space, she's watching "Word World" an EDUCATIONAL TV program.

See how captivated she is?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Easy does it

Today was the day that I pulled on my running sneakers and hit the pavement.
There were no more excuses, the weather was gorgeous, and after sleeping 12 hours I finally felt energy coursing through my veins.
The run was very slow, I swear I could feel every extra fat cell on my body, jiggling and jumping with the motion.
I did walk some, I did pause a few times to stretch out my tight quads.
But I finished.
2 miles.
Which looks pathetic to what I used to do, but for taking so much time off, its a start back on the right track.
Now on to a nice big bowl of oatmeal, and some stretching.

I am SO happy Spring is on her way

Friday, February 18, 2011


I can always tell how my day is going to pan out based on how easily I can stick my contact to my eyeball.
I know it sounds silly, but let me just say, today I am wearing my glasses.
Because when I went to stick my contact to my eye this morning, a piece of HAIR got stuck behind my contact and scratched my eyeball.
And then the day went down hill, nice and swiftly gathering piles and piles of crap.
Today has officially sucked.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day

When I was in second grade, a boy gave me a heart shaped necklace in a plastic box, and a single red rose. I don't remember if it was Valentine's Day or not, but I do remember being utterly horrified. We are talking, red faced, neck sweat type of embarrassment as he handed over the gifts in front of my classmates. I remember shoving them deep into the back of my desk, turning around and basically bolting away from him.
That was a big deal in the second grade.
My mother demanded that I give the necklace back to him, which in retrospect was probably MORE embarrassing than accepting the gift in front of my nosey classmates. "Here is your present back, turns out I am only seven years old and like, shouldn't be excepting presents from potential suitors as of yet. Wait a few more years and make it a real ruby and then maybe we'll talk"
Every year of school I had some boy giving me random gifts, with the exception of sixth grade, because basically that year is lost to me.
I am only saying this because yesterday Allessandra received a "special" gift from a boy in her class. I mean, seriously it was a pair of heart socks, but still. She was the only one that got something other than a folded tinker belle card.
And also, obviously this present was not from a two year old, but from the parents who joke with me that we will marry our children off.
No matter what tho, it still made me laugh and cringe at the same time.
This little boy clearly adores her. His little face lights up whenever I kick open her classroom door in the morning, and drop her into a seat next to him.
I love that she has friends, I love that other kids adore her, I just want to save her the embarrassment of being chased on the playground by a pack of boys trying to kiss her.
Cause thats like, fun for no one.
Just saying.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Its Almost Friday!!!!!!

Sunday, February 6, 2011


This is Allie's picture hanging in her classroom. Every time I see it I chuckle to myself.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Lady Doctors

Remember in January when I decided to find a Doctor?
Well, I am pleased to announce that I did just that, except, I found a lady Doctor, who is not a lady.
 After having a baby, and having my wohoo checked out by everybody and their best friend I am not really bothered by it.
That was, until I had to meet my Doctor clad in a paper robe, bare ass naked.
I don't normally meet new people in such a fashion, so you can imagine that I was not really thrilled to death to shake his hand, since I was too busy trying to close the gap of the paper around my ass crack, and you know, not tumble off the table.
And what was with all the talking?
Excuse me, the joke telling, while waving the metal object that's about to be shoved into my body.


I don't understand men as lady Doctors. Men don't get periods, men don't have babies, men, DON"T have Vaginas, some kinda have boobs, but you get my point.

Also, it should be noted that woman lady Doctors don't need nurses in the room with them to make sure they don't do anything nasty. Cause there is nothing I like more than fifteen people in the room with me while I get a physical.

And I did try to find a lady, lady Doctor, APPARENTLY they don't make them down here.

Thursday, February 3, 2011