Thursday, September 30, 2010

A memory

I drank a bottle of maple syrup.


No, not recently, when I was seven, or nine, or some age...I can't remember right now. I just remember it was in the basement, in the dark, sitting carelessly on the white tub of a freezer that held packages of meat, and dead fish that my brother would catch and freeze.


I drank it cause it was there, and my older brother dared me.

Drink sugar? on a Dare?
Certainly.
The first couple gulps were easy, it was like the sugar just folded neatly down into my stomach.
I remember his amazement.
I laughed maple syrup giggles, as I squeezed Aunt Jemima's tush- forcing the stream to flow at a steadier pace.

I am sure you are not surprised that I was home sick for weeks after that.
I caught a "virus"- a sugar induced virus I am sure, nevertheless I was never forthcoming as to why I was so deathly ill.
But my brother knew.
He asked me, "Do you think its cause you drank that whole bottle of syrup Chels,?"
And I would push him aside, turn my gaze elsewhere and pretend I didn't know what he was talking about.

A couple of weeks before he died, we were standing outside my Dad's hospital room and I put my arms around his back and rested my head on his arm, something that was foreign to us and oddly not at the same time. I remember he asked in a strange voice, "Remember when you drank that whole bottle of syrup?"
And I think I laughed, I can't remember.

But tonight squeezing the plastic bottle onto my waffles, and watching Allie lean over and lick her pink plastic plate clean - I had to smile for a moment.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My tiny Fashionista

Wow her hair looks red here...but is this not the greatest outfit EVER?!

5 Miles

Both of my knees now ache.

I am thinking its because I did not properly switch shoes-or I decided to push Allie in her stroller for the last two miles of my five mile run....sans the Vibrams and back in regular running shoes.
As soon as I started running in (shoes) I felt totally "off"- my back was all contorted, and I felt my knees start to twist all unnaturally.
But, I got through it, five mile run, in about an hour...which is pretty pathetic, but I WAS pushing the stroller the last half of it-and that in itself sucks.

Plus I basically live on top of a mountain.

Seriously.
Hills will be the death of me.
Obviously my pace was not 55 minutes..clearly I was stopped, taking this picture.

Monday, September 27, 2010

...update

Last night I went for a second run in my Vibrams, more because J and I wanted our sleep, so we figured the only was was to run the dog to sheer exhaustion.
And since I didn't see Captain video games moving anytime soon, I pulled on my running gear, clasped the leash on the poodle and headed out for a quick run.
And, again, I have to say, totally awesome.
Even in the dark, which is tricky since I was absolutely terrified of stubbing my toe on a crack in the pavement -or hitting a rock, but nothing like that happened. I felt free, like a Nigerian adolescent running in Africa...barefoot, (except with shoes).  It felt GRRREAT.
There is this sensation like you forgot something tho, tearing down the street....your brain is all, you forgot your shoes dumbass.

 Anyways, this morning I am virtually pain free, there is a little bit of soreness, but that is to be expected.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Viva Vibrams!

OH my.


I am in love with vibrams.

I have to admit, I had my doubts, especially since wearing them look utterly ridiculous. Kind of like I am wearing socks.....or slippers....to run in.

But.

Two miles in those bad boys, in the RAIN,  I am more than sold. Not only did I run real, real, fast, but I ran without my knee band, and no pain. NO PAIN. Not the slightest hint of a twinge.
I mean, not even in my feet, which, you would think would hurt like hell, since I just basically pounded them on the concrete for thirty minutes.
I am in love.
If you run, go buy them.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Wedding

Not to be redundant, but..its friggen hot in Georgia.
I had sweat literally dripping down my legs....like I was peeing myself.

Classic.

High school

I ventured out baby less with new super awesome friend. One who probably, totally uses baby powder as shampoo, (as I often do) salivates for Halloween themed crap, such as Halloween DOTS and mummified cats, and totally gets my sense of humor, which, by the way, is totally rare.
Anyways, we decided to go see the new Betty White movie -and having gotten way too caught up digging our paws into vats of Halloween candy, we missed the movie, thus causing us to do that asshole thing, which is to stare up at the red shiny screen, hands on hips with our heads cocked, trying to figure out WHAT ELSE is playing.
Also weighing the options of worth seeing vs.money. We opted to see Easy A, which wasn't terrible. Although it brought back fretful memories of high school and thus launched a very detailed and highly emotional conversation about our "high school" experiences. Did anyone actually, for real, REALLY LOVE high school? I am sure that there are a handful of people out there that think about it all the time. Facebook in particular has shed some light on how some of the people I knew in high school still live in the town, still go to the same places, and are STILL FRIENDS WITH THE SAME PEOPLE. How are you gonna tell me that you are almost 30 and still drinking Bud Light in the woods....? Honestly.
I would stab myself in the face.
Not to be mean.

Anyways, cheers to High school being ova.

Halloween section of World Market...that right there my friends is Apple, pumpkin Cider. Yeah, I got goose bumps and made new friend take a picture of me. See, she didn't even JUDGE!

Up and out of the house early this am for a three mile run. *Bought another pair of new shoes to train in for my Half.* Wanted to break them in. I actually had to get them another half size bigger. Stupid Georgia heat making my feet swell.
Certainly not a New England fall, but it was nice to see the leaves changing a bit...since like, it is almost October.
13min pace...def was off this morning, more cause I was taking pictures and really trying to enjoy myself. I am happy with the run!
After a shower and some breakfast, headed out to get J a bus pass, and of course stop at Starbucks for a skinny vanilla latte..YUM
And....pulled behind this douche wallet. Really, this is the name of your company? FAIL.

Now off to a wedding!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

2 mile run....in the third ring of Hell

In case you were wondering, the third ring of hell, is running with a very cranky Allessandra. It's worse then running with fifty seven blisters.

I signed up for my Teacher certificate test October 16th (Test 1 and 2) Then I am taking test 3, 4 & 5 in Jan.  Oh and also running the Zoomma half marathon November 6th-and studying and taking the MAT somewhere in there. UH HUH- I KNOW I am doing it again. I just need to get this first two parts of the test out of the way....and you know, pass. Then I can focus on everything else.

My view...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

This makes me a bad ass

3.5 Miles pushing the jogging stroller .....Kill me
It was hot out, thats why I look like death...oh and also,
 I got a blister the first mile...OW

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Birthday

My Birthday Morning started with this little love
Lots of cards and cute gifts
Birthday Eclair, only 3 WW points Wohooo!
Picked up this chick a little early...
She fed herself fists full of spaghetti (She is TOTALLY mine)
Birthday Dinner...Spaghetti and garlic bread...I am perpetually ten years old.
Birthday Cupcakes! ZOMG so freaking DELICIOUS!
The Mystery gift that Josh supposedly "left" at work. MHHHMM LIAR PANTS
RUNNING WATCH! Wohoooooooooooooooooooo! Best. Birthday. Ever.


Then I promptly went for a run...after spaghetti and cupcakes...but who cares, cause, Hello!  RUNNING WATCH!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Last Run as 26

...Cause tomorrow I will be 27! Wooohoo

First Apple Cider of the year...fitting that its the day before my Birthday (and also 92 degrees out)
Allie is a pro at taking her shoes off....
Grocery Shopping is always a good time with an 18 month old, no really...*smacks face*
I got brand new shoes for running! (Happy Birthday to ME!)
I set out for five miles, but since it was 90 degrees out, and the dog was like panting A LOT, I got super nervous that it was going to keel over in the road. I really didn't want that on my conscious, nor did I want to drag it home with me. You KNOW how I hate carrying things.
Got home and made a "Green Monster" which in actuality is NOT something found in a Sex Toy shop. Its Spinach, banana, and vanilla almond milk....YUM! Even Allessandra scarfed down a glassful, which, um HELLO, is AWESOME!
That brownie/cookie/protein bar was something I whipped up before I headed out for my run. It was pretty awesome, just perhaps a little too (moist)

Awesome Sunday!

MAT is kicking my A**

Nothing makes me feel more stupider then studying for two exams at the same time.

*Banging head against table*

On the plus side,when this is all over, I will be chalk full of random information to use as party tricks. You know, I will be that guy that fills every awkward silence with a pointless fact, such as Dysentery is caused by a specific  amoeba.

If you didn't already know that..
You're welcome.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Catching up

Anniversary dinner...mmm bottle of wine
Crab stuffed pasta...yeah, it was amazing.
In a food coma
Today consisted of a six mile bike ride, followed by a two mile run,followed by a quick one mile run with the dog after a delicious dinner and frozen yogurt (yum!)
I am becoming very fond of running with the dog...its like a running partner.....that poops....
Allessandra LOVES that dog
Especially when she is "patting" her to "sleep"

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bath time

I know I shouldn't ask you if its appropriate to bathe with my daughter.
Mainly cause most of you don't want to know.

 Plus, I just said  bath and you automatically had a visual.

I did you a favor and threw in a one year old and it just turned into the worst visual ever.

I know this.

And yet.

I am starting to think that bathing with her is no longer a good idea.

Before it was fun. She splashed all around, shoving both fists into her tiny face and grunted like a piglet.

 It was cute.

Now, not so much.

Mainly because instead of pushing around her foam alphabet all around the bottom of the tub, or digging her tiny fingernails into the soap, she has turned her attention to me.
Specifically my boobs.


Not like, "Hey look, LUNCH!"
But more along the lines of, "Hey I didn't know these things were so bendy!"

I tried to be all adult, like, "Yeah, those are mommies boobies, they used to feed you yummy milk, mmmmm"
Then I felt awkward.
ME: "JOSSSSSSHHHH SHE JUST GRABBED MY BOOB AND WONT LET GO!"
Josh: "Allessandra, she doesn't like that."

Nice.

I tried to distract her with a pretty wash cloth, yet the bending and twisting thus escalated into poking. And me wringing in awkwardness.
"Allessandra, Mommy doesn't like to be hit, lets play with this squeezy fish..woooo squeeze that instead *SQUEEZE SQUEEZE*
Fish then aimed at my face, elbow shoved directly into my neck and then she decided to squeal to no one in particular ....
"BOOBIE, BOOBIE, MOMMY BOOBIE!!!!!!!!!"
Which in Allie talk all sounds exactly the same. It could have also have been "Ba by"

But I know the truth.

Just like when she was saying "Oh, Shit"
...And I totally played it off as, "What's this?!"

Stellar parenting.


Anniversary!

Can't believe we have been married 3 years!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

News

There is nothing better then taking the little lady out on a beautiful afternoon run.

Exciting news.
1. I am in the process of applying to Grad schools so that I can be a better more awesomer teacher. (Yeah, awesomer is totally a word)
2. I have way too many tests to take in order to do this.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

You are Beautiful, Yes, YOU

I fell in love with operationbeautiful.com
I stood on my tip toes, perusing the many books in the "self help" section, just hoping to find myself a copy of Caitlin Boyle's book. I did this with an angry toddler in tow -and when I finally caught a glimpse of the purple cover, I was delighted.
Because with this book, and with this project, I finally feel free.
Let me back up.
I, too, have suffered from distorted eating since I was a wee adolescent.
I binged/purged/ restricted myself into a down whirl spiral of self hatred.
Like so many other women out there, I needed perfection. To be worth something.

However,with this unattainable goal in mind, I fell into boxes of pizza, bags of candy-all the while, loathing myself, calling myself FAT, UGLY, WORTHLESS. I pinched my thighs, I pinched my belly, I let myself fall into the teenage hell of striving to be like the fashion models that were splashed over my TEEN magazines.
College was no different, if anything I became worse, since there was virtually no one to tell me to eat.
I abused diet pills, laxatives, I experienced dizzy spells, and the sick part about all of this, is it was never, ever, ever, ever, ever, enough.
At no point did I see an end.
That was, until two things happened.

1. I met my husband
2. I discovered yoga and running

Fast forward to today, I am responsible for shaping a little girl's idea of herself. I am her example.  I know recently I have been complaining about my weight - wringing my hands over a stupid NUMBER and letting it control my ENTIRE day. I let that number dictate my entire menu for the day, my self worth, my enjoyment, how I treat people, HOW I THINK PEOPLE VIEW ME.
And for what?

You know what my Dad  wanted before he died of cancer?
A Milkshake.
My brother described to me in great detail how that stupid milkshake made his night. The gist of it is that we spend so much of our life avoiding things, BEING BAD, if we have a cookie, or BEING A FAT ASS, for enjoying a delicious dinner, or taking a second slice of pie. But in the end, none of it matters.
Not one calorie.


I am enough.
And you know what?
You are too.

Sunday Trip to Starbucks

Can you guess which one I am copying?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

5k race and why I am a dumbass

I know I am in trouble when my chest begins to burn.

It should have clicked when the act of slowing down actually made me feel as if I might fall face first into on coming traffic. The nausea, the searing burn of each gasp of humid air, the sweat seeping, burning both eyes.

Why did I start out so fast? Why am I so damn cocky? Through each monstrous hill, my arrogance loosens oh man, Oh, hell no, what did I get myself into? I fucking HATE running. 
I trudged slowly, climbing, panting, sweating, reaching deep down for some sort of inspiration to keep going.
Why didn't I ever train outside? Running on a treadmill in ac watching a movie does not in anyway shape or form prepare one for a 5k race, OUTSIDE, UP HILLS, IN TRAFFIC. 
No Sir.

Mid way I am angry, I am silently cursing the middle school children that are breezing by me, clad in their tie dye tee-shirts and Abercrombie ass bearing shorts.  Not to mention the fat man, and 99 year old geriatric who sprinted past me, sending me into a fit of rage, that lasted only long enough for me to sprint, gasp, sprint, walk.
Did I PR? Nope, I did not. Did I do well? Yeah. My 5k time was 34 min. I came in 132 out of 300, totally passed a chick at the end of the race, totally pissing off her entire family, but hey, at least I didn't come in 133.
I learned a lot.
1. Must train outside
2. Must eat more in the morning
3. Probably should hydrate, you know before the race.
4. Should never be cocky about any amount of distance, 3 miles is still 3 miles.
5. Should stop comparing myself to other runners, and busting a lung and a knee in order to beat them.

Everything laid out before, could have used the GU-but it doesn't help me if it is in the car, now DOES IT?!
Mmmm Bananas...this picture looked super sexual which made me laugh
People, Firefighters, Police...911 stuff

This is a HORRIBLE picture of me, I look like I should have been laid out on a stretcher and put in an ice bath. Allie met me half way..it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world to see her cheering for me