Sunday, May 31, 2009

10 things I have Learned from Moving

Things I have learned from Moving.

1. The baby does not care. And will continue to need food.

2. Moving, in general, is way easier if one actually packs their shit in boxes Are you confused by this statement? Let me clarify- Some of our stuff was packed in boxes, and the rest of it....well lets just say my front entry is a mix of LOFT bags, breast pads, a dog statue, a guitar which permanent residence is in a closet (doesn't really matter which closet it is) Shelves, magazines, a remote control car, trash cans, diapers, robes, a ginormous box of tampons, suitcases....pretty much every odd and end that you stuff under the bed, or shove into the back of the closet...we have laying in the front hallway. I think there was some part of me that was hoping we would just leave all that for the next tenant. Because nothing says "Welcome to your new home!" Like a box of tampons and some ratty dish towels!
ALSO: Josh, I think, at one point yesterday must have thrown up his hands and said F*ck it, and began PACKING TRASH. AND SEALING IT.
So, he did not pack our sheets, pillows, or Allessandra's diapers...but he packed me a nice big box of T R A S H. AND I realized that in that sentence it was singular, but no, let me say that again- he packed me BOXES of trash.
It makes me cringe to think of all the time and man power we could have saved this weekend if we had just organized and packed EVERYTHING ahead of time.

3. It really sucks being stuck in the new apartment that does not come equipped with new delicious food. I damn near fried up the baby yesterday I was so hungry.

4. Unpacking sucks just as much as moving (especially when you are unpacking candy wrappers, paint samples and bottle tops...WTF)

5. I have a lot of clothes. Half of which I still do not fit into.

6. Allessandra has just as many (if not more) clothes then I do.

7. The cats are even more excited in a new place, with all their old boxes..and will continue to shove themselves into every tiny space available and suddenly appear out of no where and scare the hell out of you.

8. Sleeping on top of everything on your bed is perfectly acceptable

9. The food network is a perfectly acceptable channel to watch all day, when you cannot find the remote- HOWEVER- it totally blows when you are so hungry you want to eat your own hand
10. No one needs 17 Gingerbread cookie cutters. Why I am the proud owner of 17 Gingerbread cookie cutters is beyond me....

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Happy 11 Weeks!


We Love to hold our Bottle!





So Serious.




A nice bath, after attempting to shoot poop to the ceiling.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Another Rainy Morning in Paradise

Do you remember when this morning I was taking the bouncy seat from the bedroom into the living room, and in my haste I bumped into the dresser, thus causing me to stumble backwards and then trip over my suitcase- causing me to end up ass over shoulders in a pile of clothes?

Oh you don't?

Well...the baby thought it was fan friggen tastic- and let out a squeal of delight as she witnessed her mother practice her back hand spring into a pile of underwear.



I am glad I continue to amuse her.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Traveling with a baby Take 2 and 3 and 4



Traveling down to Florida was fine, in fact I might even go so far as to say it was a lot easier then I expected. We had a two hour flight to Atlanta where Ms Allie slept literally the entire time- I did forget however, two very important key issues that flying entail. 1. The plane is very tight quarters, and 2. I am incredibly claustrophobic, and suddenly have a new fun fear of flying.
So- once we arrived in Atlanta, Josh and I hauled some major ass to get to our gate which was in East bumville on the OTHER SIDE OF THE FRIGGEN AIRPORT. So we were running, with FOUR bags and the baby slung over my shoulder, on three hours of sleep and 0 food. Thank the heavens Allessandra likes to be bounced around like a bobble head, because otherwise we would have been
s c r e w e d
But this time, we made our flight (we wont be so lucky on our way back)
I was even able to grab a pop tart and some trail mix! Yey for over priced Airline paraphernalia. And I got to browse yet another article depicting Jon and Kate's marriage - my life felt complete in those precious moments.

So we made it to Jacksonville- quickly located Grandpa and promptly handed child over.
After getting our retail car- A HUGE BLACK THING that ate gasoline like it was its job...(but we looked super awesome in it so whatev....) we settled ourselves in our super sweet hotel room, King size bed! (Aka more space for me to take up!)
Allie did surprisingly well, for not being in her bed- she slept like a champ most of the time.
The trip in itself was really nice, we got to spend lots of time with Josh's parents who loved taking Allessandra- Sometimes she would "disappear" when I was in the shower, Josh would claim Housekeeping took her.
Also, they would take her when she would absolutely lose her mind, so much that I think at one point Josh's mom and I saw her head spin all the way around.
But truthfully on this trip she started smiling a LOT more, so we were able to forgive her demon like behavior. She also started making real tears come out of those beautiful blue eyes of hers- something that will pull at anyone's heart strings I dont care who you are.
Josh, his Dad, and I quickly ran into Starbucks one morning, leaving Josh's mom and Allie in the back seat. We were gone maybe five minutes- upon returning Allie was out of her car seat, red faced and hiccuping.
Grammy just shook her head, "She was screaming so loud she couldn't catch her breath! And she had big fat tears coming down!!"

Ha!
I dare any of you "let them just cry it out" activists out there, to watch my daughter throw a fit and to not desperately want to fix it.

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. The weather held off- our train got derailed, and we got everything on video- so all in all very successful.
Yes you read that top part right- The train we were on, to go to the wedding- got derailed thankfully we were stopped by some lovely stagnant water, and the cheetah cage....visions of being mauled while on vacation danced in my head. let. me. tell. you.
Anyways, the bride was so stunning I actually cried, like an idiot. The ceremony was nice and quick and to the point. We fed giraffes, and rode the carousal AND had free booze. The only downside was my shoes sucked major ass, and after two hours I was walking around the Jacksonville Zoo barefoot.....*shudder* and, being away from Allie not only caused me to talk about her like I was incapable of speaking about any other subject, but by the end of the evening I looked like I was auditioning to be an extra on BayWatch. seriously, the beginning of the evening, the dress was too loose- by the end...lets just say I had to keep pulling it up, and over. Yikes.

Yesterday we both had two and half hours of sleep, caught our 6am flight, missed our flight to Boston by 2 flipping minutes. So by the time we got on our flight to Boston Allie was um not "pleased"
It sucked.
I was stuck on a plane, sweating, exhausted, with a screaming baby- and the baby was mine.
But FINALLY we made it home- or we made it back to our apartment that is chalk full of boxes and crap, because we move to our new place on Friday.

So we made it past our first milestone, we traveled with a baby- and came out alive.
Plus, I left her with a babysitter for six hours......go me.

Oh and I totally forgot my favorite part of the trip.
Every Joe Smoe coming up to us telling us how beautiful our baby was.
"And she looks just like her Dad!"

Thanks. I know.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

How to Travel with a Baby Part 1.



"Mom, I don't think you were suppose to pack me"

Happy 10 weeks 1 day early


We get so excited we go cross eyed!


And we Love to Dance


Really Mom? Can we stop it with the pictures?


Why furry lamb, wont you just TALK BACK TO ME???!



Its a full time Job being so cute

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Allie,
I am sorry you hate everything that ever existed. I am sorry that this morning when I was trying to re adjust you on your side, so that you could continue to chow down, I accidentally touched your leg.
I am sorry that I was talking this morning when you were eating, and also, I am sorry I looked at you, when you were clearly trying to see your mobile.

I am sorry that I brought you into this world full of nasty diseases - but someday when you don't get polio, I expect you will be thanking me, instead of hitting the high C with your shrills of displeasure.
We live in a world Allie, where the Swine Flu is head lining news, when you were in my belly, I had to get a flu shot which hurt so bad I basically wanted to curl up on the floor and cry. But the mean Doctor told me that I had to get the shot, in order to PROTECT YOU. Also, cause at the time I worked with the p u b l i c who coughed and snorted their nasty germs onto mommy.
And then after you came out- Mommy had to get another shot that hurt so bad I could not sleep on my left side- so yes. I understand your pain. I am sorry nothing I do seems to ease your discomfort. We live in a world full of disgusting germs, which is why mommy carries a bottle of purel around like its a wad of cash. (Something she promised she would NEVER DO) So, we will just have to suck it up and deal with it. And maybe next time, when you go for your four month appointment, mommy wont be such a disgrace to Mother's everywhere and keep her s h i t together.
I am pretty sure tho, in your life, you are going to be in a lot worse pain.

Just wait till you meet boys.

Yikes.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Yeah, It was as bad as I thought

Today was shot day. 3 Shots. 1, 2, 3, SHOTS in my tiny little baby's body.
I have never physically fought with someone before, but by the end of this ordeal I wanted to punch the nurse directly in the teeth for making Allie scream like that.
Two very unfortunate things happened due to this awesome visit to the Doctor.

1. I CRIED. Me. I cried, me the adult C r i e d over her pain. I don't know what happened, I was holding her tiny hands and talking to her, making funny noises- and when that shot was given, she turned beet red and let out this scream, that I swear to GOD ripped my heart directly out of my chest. It was like someone came up and stabbed me. And before I knew it - I had tears streaming down my face.

2. Due to her intense emotions and my reaction, my body began to go on high alert MUSTMAKEBABYSTOPCRYINGOHGOD. So naturally I began SPRAYING breast milk. Not leaking, no leaking I image would have stayed nice and quiet while being absorbed by my bra. But I was spraying milk like it was my JOB to FEED EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE.
I think I might have sprayed the ceiling- through my bra, through my *white* shirt.
Mother. Of. God. Could I have been anymore of a disaster?

So, here I am, sopping wet, sweating, holding Allie who has decided that she hates everyone, especially people who are talking, laughing, or breathing- trying desperately to get her to latch on, so I COULD STOP SPRAYING BREAST MILK UP HER NOSE!

She started eating, but would pause, look at me, scowl, yell, and then continue eating.
She promptly fell asleep after that, and is still knocked out.
*fingers crossed*


Oh the good news?
She's 11 POUNDS, 23 inches long.
Her pediatrician informed me that on this track she will be a super model.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Saturday

Errands and packing and packing OH MY!

Packing to move, Packing for Florida, boxes and boxes and shit everywhere!

YEY!

Suitcase half full- bags half empty- boxes sealed, boxes open, Paint samples picked out, *Kinda*

After we figure out the perfect shade of "green tea green" Or "Butter scone yellow"
After we get some sort of organization before we travel in four days
After we pack and move, unpack and begin to get back into some sort of "normalcy"
I go back to work. Nights.
Awesome.


I am tired just thinking about it.

In the mean time:

Friday, May 15, 2009

Sometimes I think that if someone planted a "nanny Cam" in my bedroom or living room, the parent police would waltz in and demand I hand over my child. Because sometimes, I do dumb things- Like last night for example. I feed the child at 3am, who is absolutely ravenous- she eats like its her JOB. When she finally succumbs to her intense slumber- I place her down, and prepare to snuggle up for at least another four hours.
Yeah No.
The child begins to fuss and fuss, and fuss- to the point where I am getting irritated.
I finally turn over and she is STARING AT ME. Her huge blue eyes GLEAMING in the darkness- like a cat. *Shiver*

To be honest it was very much like waking up and having your significant other staring you in the face.
She was all like,

"Yeah, I am still awake."

So I finally, picked her up, and she let out the loudest BUUURRRRRRRRP that I have ever heard.
A Burp so loud that her Dad rolled over, and the cats flew off the bed.

Woops.

Guess I forgot something huh.

I apologized, gave her another boob- and she fell fast asleep.

Nanny Cam intervention number 2.
Allie is unfortunately listening to "Blonde Ambition" You know, the one with Jessica Simpson? The one that never made it to the movie theaters cause it was THAT BAD.



Well I decided that I had to see for myself just how awful it is- and honestly, "Gigli" was better.
At this point, I feel bad for Jessica Simpson- you kinda want to go up to her and give her a hug, pat her on the back, and tell her to stick to singing, cause frankly a monkey could act better then her.

Parent Police would be very disappointed that Allie is learning her language development from a Jessica Simpson movie, that only managed to get 1 star.

I might refrain from telling her Pediatrician about that.
Or My Mom.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Happy 9 Weeks


Size- Whatever

I have read many blog post, books, memoirs, about women giving birth and strongly advising other new moms to not expect to jump right back into their pre pregnancy clothes. In fact, you should not even TRY ON ANYTHING until after SIX GD MONTHS. Six months? Really?
Well, me being Ms "I am awesome", I decided that although I still did not fit into my shorts and capris- that all I needed to do is go out and buy some clothes in a size up.
HA.

Cut to me standing in the dressing room, clutching my cellphone, frantically texting Josh, telling him that there is no way in HELL that I am going to buy shorts in THIS SIZE! AND WHY GOD did I EAT CRISCO BY THE SPOONFUL?!
And then I did what any 2 month postpartum mom would do, whose shorts WOULD NOT CLOSE. Shorts that were WAY BIGGER THEN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE.
I cried.
Like actual tears.


I stood there in the dressing room wearing too tight shorts- and cried about it. While a good friend of mine tried to talk me down- saying things like, "what do you say to people who you are dressing?" "Its just a number, cut it out of the shorts if you don't want to look at it!" "You look great!" "Its only been 2 months!"
And because she could tell that I was not really interested in how good I looked, standing there in too tight shorts, with mascara running down my face-

She played the "You have a beautiful baby girl" card.

Touche. Maria. Touche.

And yes I do. And the very LAST thing on this planet that I want to do is to display a poor body image for Allie.
Allie who was so busy staring at her gorgeous self in the mirror, while concentrating extremely hard on getting both fists into her mouth, that she could have cared less about my tiny temper tantrum.
But I know that soon she will start paying attention, and what I want her to see is good habits.

So, I am done being hard on myself. I know this is easier said then done.
But I am strong, dammit. I work hard. I endured 28 hour of labor, I am training for a half marathon. I can work out with Jillan Michaels and only be kinda sore the next few days.
And you know what else?
My body MADE A CHILD.

Take that New York and Co khaki shorts.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

2 Months.

Went shopping today.

There were tears involved.

So. Very. frustrated.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Jillian Michaels kicked. my. ass.

Holy burning.

I thought it would be a good idea to get all 60 minutes of my workout done all at once this am. For the past couple of days I have been working out in 10 minute segments throughout the day. Which, works, but it is nice to just have it over with.

I took advantage that Allie was sleeping, and I seemed to have some energy. Well, let me put it this way. I almost died. On my living room floor. The 60 min workout horrifyingly reminded me of my 28 hours of LABOR.
Holy. Shit.

I am talking about, shaking, burning, cursing, sweating my ASS OFF. Like, if I do one more squat with these weights, my arms are going to fall off. No seriously. Please GOD when is this going to be over?

She almost killed me.

And it was awesome.

If you are looking to TORTURE YOURSELF- and you have Comcast, I just did one of the workouts ON DEMAND.
And trust me, it is no joke, she did like 89 thousand circuits that make you think that you are D y i n g.

You know you did a hard work out when you pick up your child and your arms shake.

*****
On a totally different subject- Allie is projectile crapping. I don't have any idea how she manages to do this, but she poops out the sides of her diaper, no matter how tight it is. I swear it like seeps out. This morning I actually SMELLED HER FROM THE BEDROOM, and let me tell you, it did NOT smell like roses. She managed to cover herself with poop- disgusting neon yellow goop- that she managed to get into her HAIR and all up her back. Seriously, is she like aiming? I had to check the walls and ceiling to see if I had to wipe them up as well.
I actually gagged.

Cleaning up poop

Now that's real love.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mom Day

First and Foremost Happy Mother's Day to all those awesome Moms out there. It being my first Mother's day, after almost 9 weeks of being a mother, I tip my hat to all those out there who have had their babies for way long. (Like 30 years long) Cause WOW. And also those of you that have more then one baby.

You deserve a shiny gold medal.

Mother's Day kinda rocked for me, although I wish I had some sort of pin that I could attach to my shirt that says "Hi, Yes I am a Mom, please wish me a Happy Mother's day, thanks." But alas, I did not.
However, I do have my awesome stretch marks, or "badges or honor" to show off, maybe if I whipped up my shirt at random moments, people would be all like, "Woah check out those awesome scars, I bet she has a b a b y!
But then I think that would be classified as "indecent exposure"...and really nursing in public is as close to being topless in public as I want to be.

Actually, now that I think about it, I have yet to actually nurse in p u b l i c- I would rather whip my boob out in a public bathroom stall then anywhere where people were looking at me. - I did actually nurse at baby yoga, but really, every mom in that room had a baby hanging out of their shirt- It would have been MORE awkward if I did not produce a boob.
And speaking of baby yoga..it absolutely rocked my world. Not only was Allie an angel but the child actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD when everyone sang her name. I about peed my pants with delight.
The only weird thing, were the Moms. I mean, don't get me wrong, I truly want to find a mom friend, but these women were all like invested in their babies. Where I was still processing the fact that I was at BABY YOGA, with an ACTUAL BABY.
That belonged to me.
That came out of my body.
That was MINE.

And honestly, I felt super awkward.
Like the new kid at the lunch table. GAH I hate that feeling. It did not help that all these women were pregnant together and namasted their way through nine months of prenatal yoga, produced their babies, and already had them married off to each other.
They were very very gracious and invited me out to their weekly lunch gathering- but truthfully, I just felt like I had frizzy hair, a mouth full of braces, and the wrong jeans on.

Maybe next time.

Allie did sleep for like FOREVER after the class tho, So yeah, I am totally going back.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Moments with Grandpa

Pitch Man

If you know me, you know how much I despise Billy Mays. Every single time I hear his god awful annoying voice on TV- it sends my blood pressure soaring and I frantically have to find the remote to MUTE the HORRIBLE NOISE. I hate him almost as much as I hate Mario Lopaz. Almost.

To be clear. If I was stuck in a hotel room with Billy Mays, as the guy says in the pitch to their new show....I would tape his mouth shut with the most industrial strong duck tape I could find. Probably something that Billy Mays himself has SHOUTED about on a 3am infomercial.

I would wrap the tape nice and tight around his face, and he would try to say, "Billy Mays here"

And I would be all like "I think not."


I will not be tuning in to his new show. Just in case you were wondering.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Many Faces of my little one








Eight weeks

Dear Allie,
Today you are officially eight weeks old. Eight whole weeks! My goodness child, I just can't believe that you have been in my life for that long. Don't you think its about time you find a job there cutie pie?
You are changing so fast I am finding it really hard to keep up- no longer are you this tiny newborn that flip flops and screams her tiny head off, but you have transformed into this incredibly strong alert b a b y- that above anything else in the world would rather suck on her hand then use a pacifier. Sometimes when I try to give you the orange rubber contraption you whip your hand at it and send it flying across the room. All I can do is look at you, rather startled that you just slapped something out of my hand..at eight weeks old.
I console myself that I am still the adult and I win. But. Your tiny attitude makes me nervous sometimes.
And speaking of your "tiny attitude" since you are sleeping much longer at night, you have reduced your screaming sessions. And Allie, my darling, I want to get down on my hands and knees and kiss your tiny toes for that, cause I was about ready to lose my mind.
And just to be clear, anytime a Doctor keeps you or mommy waiting for two hours, feel free to scream as loud as your little heart desires. Because when they think that your time is not as precious as theirs, then they deserve to have their ears ring.
This month we finally met your Uncle Joe, which was a long time coming there Princess. He was so excited to hold you- I had to retrain him from holding you while we were driving in the car. You also calmed down as soon as he would pick you up, which both of us just loved! He bought you the biggest blue stuffed rabbit ever. Which I plan on using as a babysitter if daddy and I are ever in a crunch.
You had your first long car ride to the Cape, and I have to say, you did wonderfully. You slept mostly the entire way- your head bobbing back and forth. Thank you for not freaking out. I was freaking out enough for both of us.

I cannot believe how big you are getting, case in point: You now fit into 3 month old clothes. And yet you are only 2 months. Daddy nicknamed you yeti because of your super human strength and girth. But really, you are going to be as tall as Cindy Crawford- and as athletic as Gabrielle Reece...or mommy. Mommy is way cooler then Gabrielle Reece anyways.
Daddy and I are beginning to get you out of the habit of being bounced to sleep- which I really appreciate because you are getting A LOT heavier, and the sling is beginning to feel the strain, not to mention my back. Also, I was beginning to worry that I would have to take you to your first day of preschool in the sling- and then on your first date...and things just got awkward from there.
But now you can hold your head at a 90 degree angle for a long time, you have stopped projectile vomiting into my hair (I did cut it short tho) The first time I handed you a rattle, you held it so tight, it was like you would never let it go. Then you proceeded to smack yourself in the face with it.
Woops.
Sorry.
Next time, soft rattle.
You smile and coo so often, that I have stopped running around like an idiot trying to find the video camera to capture the moment. In fact you smile so often, that I was not even jealous when you were cooing and flirting with the TV tray.
Allie, thank you for smiling at me when you wake up in the morning- and smiling at me when I do the hokey poky, for holding my shirt tight when you are nursing, for sleeping longer then two hours at night, for smelling so delicious and not minding when I try to lick your face, for grunting like a tiny piglet in the middle of the night when you are hungry, for acting like I am the coolest most awesomest person ever.
And for not minding when I cry at the end of "Guess how much I love you" when I read:

Then he looked beyond the thornbushes, out into the big dark night. Nothing could be farther than the sky. "I love you right up to the moon," he said and closed his eyes.
"Oh, that's far," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
"That is very, very far."
Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves.
He leaned over and kissed him good night.
Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile,
"I love you right up to the moon-and back."


I love you little girl, possibly more then you will ever know. Thanks for making me a Mom.

Love always,
Momma

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

10 Things I wish I could do...but will never say out loud

1. Say the hell with it to this diet and running/ab/lifting/yoga/ every damn day- cause its a lot of work and frankly I AM TIRED

2. Keeping with that theme, Just have another baby already cause frankly I look two months pregnant, and boy I miss that Its OK I am pregnant soothing voice, that assures me that the piece of fudge is A OK cause its for the baby.

3. Sleep whenever I want- for exactly how long I want.

4. Make Daddy change all the poop diapers, especially the ones that seem to cover my tiny munchkin from her neck to her toes.

5. Make Daddy breast feed all day. Bonus points if he could experience the pain of the first couple weeks.

6. Go to a spa ALL DAY- have a 3 hour massage, manicure, pedicure, and eat chocolate covered strawberries sans calories of course.

7. Go a entire day without hearing a baby cry.

8. Hire someone to come and clean my apartment. And do laundry, and cook dinner.

9. Somehow attach a Starbucks to my bedroom, and have a constant supply of coffee, London Fog lattes, and Shaken ice tea lemonades.

10. Get a book deal, so that I may do what I love, and still get to be with Allie.

Allessandra 5-5-09 from Josh on Vimeo.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009



Just hanging out

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Someone slept 7 full hours straight. Woke up for 10 minutes to eat and is still currently sleeping. I am not naming names...OK KARMA! I am just saying, I am sitting here like an impatient child waiting for my friend to wake up and play with me.
I already ran two miles and did like forty seven thousand crunches....and I keep checking on her...and she, who shall remain nameless, is in a deep slumber along with her daddy. So much for today being my sleeping in day...cause for some reason my body is all like SEVEN HOURS!!!!! LETS GO RUN THE MARATHON!! WHY NOT DO FOUR LOADS OF LAUNDRY, BAKE A CAKE???! I am incapable of sitting still.

I just want her to wake up so I can pour maple syrup on her cheeks and gobble her up for breakfast.

Is that so wrong?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

YEY

My Jeans fit this morning. The jeans I bought that were a little too tight, they fit. Yessssssss

I have started to train for the Falmouth Road Race, I ran it in 2007- and did pretty well.
But now I am striving to beat my time, and also start training for a half marathon. I am 7 weeks postpartum and I am already up to 4 1/2 miles. So I think that's pretty good. Plus I am not sore after running...so I decided to kick it up a notch by throwing in a boot camp DVD, and start fitting in my advance yoga classes.

I also signed Allie and I up for mommy and me Yoga...Oh my god I can't wait to start it!

Friday, May 1, 2009

I am going to have to carry Allie to her first day of college in the damn baby sling.

I am in the midst of not only trying to get her on a schedule, but trying to get her to sleep without bouncing myself to death.

All to help her sleep better at night.
They should teach this shit in college, cause frankly the quadratic formula, and depicting Dostoevsky is not exactly helping me get my baby to STAY ASLEEP when I put her down.
Several times today I have walked by my college diploma, and its mocking me. I want to shout at the top of my lungs....I AM SMART PEOPLE, I KNOW YOU HEAR MY CHILD SCREAMING HER FACE OFF, BUT IT IN NO WAY REFLECTS MY INTELLIGENCE!!!!!!!!!!

And really, I know its not my fault that she is crying... even tho it might sound like I am shoving bamboo shoots down her toenails but MY GOD! Talk about a high need baby.

off to find some motrin